Growing up, I never quite fit into the typical mold of masculinity. My name, Minhee, doesn't help either—it carries a fairly feminine connotation in Korean, which only made it harder to feel any strong sense of male identity.

For the longest time, society categorized me as male, and I didn't really push back against that label. I just went along with it.

But over time, I've realized something important: I don't just lack the traits society expects from men—I have zero interest in pursuing what people call “masculine values.” Sometimes I find myself actively rejecting them.

Things really clicked after I met my spouse, Lisa (@tokolovesme). Through our deep, honest conversations, I finally found words for something I'd felt all along: I'm fundamentally different from a typical cisgender, heterosexual man.

I have come to identify as non-binary and bisexual.

After introducing myself as a man for my entire life, claiming this identity—actually saying “I am non-binary”—still feels new and awkward. But I'm starting to share this truth with the people close to me, one conversation at a time.

저는 어릴 때부터 典型的(전형적)인 男性性(남성성)과는 距離(거리)가 멀었습니다. 제 이름인 「民憙(민희)」도 꽤 女性的(여성적)인 語感(어감)의 이름이라, 스스로 男性(남성)으로서의 正體性(정체성)을 느끼기 더욱 어려웠던 것 같기도 합니다.

오랫동안 社會(사회)는 저를 男性(남성)으로 여겼고, 저도 딱히 그 範疇(범주)에 抵抗(저항)하지 않았던 것 같습니다. 그냥 그러려니 하고 살았죠.

하지만 時間(시간)이 지나면서 漸次(점차) 느끼게 되었습니다. 저는 그저 社會(사회)가 男性(남성)에게 要求(요구)하는 것들을 缺如(결여)한 게 아니라, 所謂(소위) 「男性的(남성적) 價値(가치)」라고 부르는 것들을 아예 追求(추구)하지 않는다는 것을요. 甚至於(심지어) 때로는 積極的(적극적)으로 拒否(거부)하기까지 합니다.

그리고 運(운) 좋게도 配偶者(배우자)인 俐思(리사)(@tokolovesme)를 만나 서로 깊고 率直(솔직)한 對話(대화)를 나누면서, 오랫동안 느껴왔지만 言語化(언어화)하지 못했던 것을 마침내 表現(표현)할 수 있게 되었습니다. 저는 典型的(전형적)인 시스젠더 異性愛者(이성애자) 男性(남성)과는 根本的(근본적)으로 다르다는 것을.

저는 논바이너리이자 兩性愛者(양성애자)입니다.

오랫동안 스스로 男性(남성)이라고 紹介(소개)해 온 탓에 논바이너리라고 自稱(자칭)하는 것이 아직 조금 쑥쓰럽기도 하고 生疏(생소)하지만, 그래도 가까운 사람들에게는 조금씩 이 眞實(진실)을 털어놓으려고 합니다.

@hongminhee Congrats! It can be difficult and scary to come out with this publicly, but it’s very rewarding too! There’s no feeling like really being yourself.

@hongminhee @tokolovesme I'm so proud of you, I know it can be difficult to come out publicly when you have a large following, but it's important to feel comfortable with who you really are, and you should never have to hide that ❤️

I came out in 2020, and the fediverse was a huge support that gave me the courage to come out to my parents, family and friends.

https://mastodon.social/@dansup/104305537913235199